Hate/Love [1]

Dear Sultan Mansur (versi HLS di UMS),

God made us met for reason..thru program..lebih tepat..i guess..
Silently..Guiding me through you..

He made me decide:

• to change on the 10th hour..tell u, if u read this piece, it costs hell (as no manner to talk) to change, I’ve tried, slowly, ordeal bro..

• to change for good for my somebody someone yg fated for me..later..insyaAllah (creep to think la.. O_Ov)

• to change physically slowly..ordeal jugak..very..because it comes with judgement..so, my closet now try to dipenuhkan dgn baju saiz L/XL..utk fully transform, now, me, bukan takut, tapi.........


though chances that we’re going to meet again is sangat tipis..
though klu jmpa pun, u see me, me see u..kdg2 me not see u..[sgaja sbb neves]
u bro ada perjuangan hidup sendiri..I believe..your path..me..faham..lepas ni..lepas konvo
sgt dekat dgn my wish-as-macam-jaded..ur specs..ur talk..ur words..ur jalan..ur sikap..ur appearance..ur interests..ur semangat..
sorry sbb xbg jwpn utk ‘blh taw ni sapa’? [sbb msg2, tp xkenal..but, climax: olredi approve in fb]

_Sekadar plot_time yg ada nostalgic value (sahaja) :

Dewan CD
- 1st met – around 2009..FKI –gotong-royong- u bro balek2 tgk saya..each time terlanggar pndgn u bro...my 1st thought that time “napa juak mamat ni tgk2? Apa nampak2? Muka saya mcm ex-gf abg ka?” – but when knal sapa bro sbnrnya [tgk poster]..me..cringe..got ur personal hikayat dari 1 of ur secretariat & kwn2 yg knal..

Café AB
- Bru plg kuliah..when cikgu ema said “sai, jan tengok depan..lurus ja”..cat got my tongue, sbb few sec b4 that, saya ‘devian’ for ur msg..for the soalan..and sent some luar alam wish? Heh..tgh baris (awat la ada line ni, besa p bli mknn xda org pn wat line) u bro tgk saya, saya tgk balek, wat2 terkejut, gosok mata kunun masuk habuk..maw invisible..

tp, seriously yg wat saya really malu is the part yg pg bli air, xprasan bro diri d tepi ja..warghhhhh..bla cikgu ema gtaw, me..maw pura2 pengsan or jln kluar sambil tutup mata..maluuuu.. +_+

DIMAN @ AB

- Ini comes with different masa & topic DIMAN..sbb, klu kami xdpt panel, klu dpt relate dgn u bro, msti jmput..kinda help? heh, corny rite? Me..think, u bro proudly can so-called Sultan Mansur in my life (can ba kan? Ka kna byr tax bru blh gelar camni?) each time, xsure la mmg u bro ada wat atau me yg terlalu sukak prasannnnnn..why ah? Dahi sya ada tulis “sila tengok saya” ka? Taw apa yg lintas my head each time u saw me, me saw u? “sila fokus dgn audience, not the berdiri-tepi-belakang-punya-AJK-protokol..”

- The pintu moment..agak jatuh rahang jgk bila pengarah suruh sya sendiri bagi buku program dgn suma panel..tell u, klu jmpa u bro, mmg nervous system function tahap megagiga la..time buku program tukar tgn, maaf xreply ur thank word..that was me..



Library [i]
- Maw lari when saw u dpn pintu..u saw me..wargh, nightmare? Pure dreams come true..tp wawa & cikgu ema tarik my tgn kiri kanan..mcm kna tangkap polis that time..tp dpt lepaskan diri, lari pg rak buku..bila dpt seruan dr wawa, bru beranikan diri jejak area tuh..again.. =S


Library [ii]
- Program Maulidur Rasul..cerita sirah..ustaz tgh bg speech..that lawak punya speech..ketawa terbahak2..tp fated, time 2 sya pindah seat m’hala pintu..time 2 jgk u bro (mcm jatuh dr langit), tetiba muncul dpn pintu..trus neves..nervous system disorder kali..

PRK season:
- 1ST tamaw pg..tp smgt sbb kwn2 naik JAKMAS..ingat time 2..me..edith..scan for geng Tawauan..bila smpi 1 part tertgk muka u bro tgh tgk saya..fated kali..sori being sombong each time..neves maaaa..xtaw..trying utk pastikan for 2nd time, bila jelling lg thru tepi kakak ntahsapa, u bro tgh jelling sya jgk? Huh, malu luar petala..

SPPS
- Agak terkejut & ntahrasaapantah..maw lari..maw invisible..when suddenly saw u walk wth abg.J menghala ke kami..huhu..kak linda pun terkejut jgk time 2..since olredi d sini..agak terpacak di kerusi..I’m trying utk x tamaw tgk muka or gerakkan mata ke environment around u..takuttttttt..
Since, ada cikgu ema selamatkan keadaan, pndi2 la dia..sorry, saya social recluse..mmg cenggitu..saya blh wat org assume saya as the 1 yg very sombomg petala ke-8..that was me.. :D

If u read this..it’s written in condition of mata terbukak, sober jugak..tapi…….
ignore it..please..saya taw ini salahhhhhh..cost hell (Allah forbid)..maybe..that’s WHY..keep it silent..it’s really sick to think..make u creepy, me too..tapi…………
wish to jumpa the future somebody someone mcm u bro..yg blh wat saya 徘.徊.走,错,哭,懂,& 爱..
Its really banyak..mmg bnyk..each time worth the peristiwa..dak ingt suma..the memori..yg wat2 dak nmpk u bro..the ceritas related to you..tp all silently..me..just tulis apa yg lintas thru my head..let me show some gratitude..sbb to tell u the truth, 1st time ada rasa cenggini, u inspired org cam saya ni to decide..change.. if not whole, part of, if not lagi, then it should be sebesar-zarah-of-me..now..

I THANK YOU..
离开不是谁给了谁的选择 ..
It just fated..(I’ll jatuh rahang if saw u around Sabah again after konvo..specifically around UMS)
我绝对不能忘得..
and..again..telling u the truth, u’re part of 我的快乐..

(hope u bro dak baca this piece..otherwise it’ll make me cringe tahap luar petala & decide to bertapa luar alam or Honolulu) sooner or later… O_Ov

Hate me for this piece..?
yes, sure..you can..sbb..I shouldn’t..
dari awal lagi..I shouldn’t..biar ia merebak..
but till now, it still there..


..MAY ALLAH BLESS..